We deal with so many people in our day to day lives, but we come across very few people who assert themselves and stand by what they believe in. Usually what we find is the “Herd symdrome” where we all are doing things because one or many of us is doing it. We dont really exercise the options we have wisely. We are busy trying to please others and get their “buy in” for whatever we do. We always try to be in the good books of people close to us, our superiors, colleagues, friends etc inorder to be appreciated, recognised, given attention and accepted. The acceptance is so very important for us that we forget that inorder to be happy we need to be ourselves. Do what we think is right, what we like and what WE really want to do.

We are always trying to please the world, trying to find out what the other person is thinking of us, trying to be right and perfect. We waste so much time assuming what the other person is thinking of us, that we become negative and critical of ourselves. we lose the self confidence and belief in ourselves. We are always trying and contemplating about  what the others think of us, how they feel about us and if we are able to measure up to their expectations. So much so that we dont realise we have lost the real US. Deep down we are always unsatisfied, unhappy and miserable because we are not being ourselves. We are trying to be someone we are not. All this because we dont have the strength to stand for what we believe in and what we think is right.

People bully on reputation. people who mock us and ridicule our ideas and opinions are often those who cant stand up for themselves and have come to think of criticism and aggression as a convenient mode to ridicule people. When they come across someone who are able to express themselves freely and stand up for their rights and beliefs, these agressive people try and bully them. But people with a mind of their own are seldom harassed by such attacks and criticism and always stand up for their rights.

There is a very fineline between aggression and assertion. Aggressive people are cold, humiliating. They insult others, bully others and can be abusive. But assertive people are always respectful, sensitive, caring but at the same time asseert themselves and express themselves clearly.

We all have the right to express ourselves freely and we should always do that. Free expression is very essential for a happy life, and emotional well being.